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Dana Mitra speaks to women leaders. Soccer teammates at State College Area High school featured on Dana Mitra's website. Dana Mitra is a faculty coach, career, coach, and leadership coach. She specializes in coaching academics, women leaders, and professionals making career changes.

How to choose a life coach

Choosing a coach to help you along this journey might be the best gift to give yourself in this new year. It seems that there are all kinds of people hanging out a shingle, calling themselves a coach. I encourage you to interview a few coaches before settling on the one that is a best fit for you. I offer some guideposts for discerning quality of training, depth of experience, and fit with your needs.

COACH QUALITY

Ask any prospective coach about the training they have received. What degrees do they hold? What expertise do they possess? The International Coaching Federation is the professional association for coaches. The federation includes a list of coaching programs that it has verified as high quality training. If your potential coach does not have training from one of these high-quality programs, ask why and consider whether the training that they received instead is sufficient. High quality training has received rigorous external review process. These programs have demonstrated that the curriculum aligns with the ICF “definition of coaching, Core Competencies and Code of Ethics.” Training should include enough hours of learning to be a deep and substantial program. The program also should include a certain number of clinical hours that allow for sufficient practice and feedback as a coach.

COACH EXPERIENCE

Ask prospective coaches about the scope of their experience, including certifications received. Coaches differ in education and backgrounds, plus varying coaching certifications. The ICF offers levels of certification–Associate Certified Coach, Professional Certified Coach, and Master Certified Coach. Each level of certification requires a set number of clinical hours coached, plus a required number of professional development hours of additional training. Certified coaches must also engage in many hours of supervision–sharing coaching sessions with a higher ranked coach to receive feedback and paths for improving one’s practice. Again, if your prospective coach is not certified by the ICF or otherwise, find out why.

COACH CHEMISTRY

Assess the vision of your coach with your needs. What is the emphasis of the work that your potential coach provides?  What is her expertise? Does her background resonate with your professional career? Your spiritual faith? Perhaps you want someone with similar identities to you; perhaps you want someone with a very different outlook. Have a meaningful conversation with your prospective coach on what they value in a coaching relationship and what their ideal client looks like. Feel the chemistry and see if it will inspire you to stretch into your best version of yourself.

Want to learn more? Contact dana@danamitra.net

Buddha and succulets. Dana Mitra is a faculty coach, career, coach, and leadership coach. She specializes in coaching academics, women leaders, and professionals making career changes. She coaches on purpose, balance and productivity. She is an experienced researcher and professor, with 20 years in the industry.

Reclaim physical space to get unstuck

I sense out there a transition—from the clutching of crisis to an unsettled awareness that fear and isolation are far from over. Temporary changes in routine are becoming new ways of doing things for the long-term. Loss feels greater perhaps as the thought of a curtailed summer becomes more and more real.

I found myself feeling claustrophobic in the same spaces that felt just fine a week ago. I realized today that I was withholding a part of what keeps me “zen” but not having a corner for my own thinking and “being.”

I had given up my meditation/journaling corner to make space for my husband to have an office, now that he works from home. I thought it was fine to squeeze in some time when he was elsewhere or just to take my journal in any other part of the house.

I realized that I had been holding out for “temporary” when these changes are here for a long time. Yesterday, I sought a new space to call my own. I carved out a corner of our bedroom by moving a few pieces of furniture around

Immediately I felt a sense of peace. I brought all of my treasure from my nook in the loft to my new little corner. I have my books, my art supplies, my journal, photographs, my vision board—my kit of things for introspection. I felt a restoration of a part of what keeps me positive, grounded, and hopeful. I now have a little space of retreat in a household full of people. I didn’t even realize I was missing it. 

My students too have been struggling with a loss of space. Having their routines when they were at school, trying to work effectively at home created struggle, anxiety, depression, hopelessness. Some of my students had little siblings who tugged at them constantly. One had a disabled brother prone to screaming for large parts of the day. Another had a mother who worked a stressful job on zoom calls in the middle of their small apartment for 10 hours a day.

I urged my students that, no matter how small their space, no matter the people, that they too could create space their own. Take over a tiny closet. Reclaim a corner of their bedroom by moving something out. Push their desk in front of a window instead of a wall. Make small changes until they find a glimmer of joy that helps their spirits to align at a higher frequency.

We can also find outside spaces for working and being as the summer approaches. One of my favorite spaces for Zoom meetings is at a small table on our outside patio. I can look at the trees and birds while engaging with my colleagues. I walk our neighborhood on phone calls. I sip my evening tea on the front porch and take in the sunsets. Each of these moments of blending outdoors with  my regular routine feel like tiny gifts.

Little tweaks can restore ourselves in a time of change. The places that help us to feel a part of something bigger. Productive when we don’t want to be. Put a plant from your office near your laptop in your at-home workspace.  Find music that drowns out family noise and reminds us of our favorite coffee shop. Light a candle; add a  lamp to have a better lit space rather than overhead lighting. Focus on your senses.

In this brave new world, we have the blessing of focusing on the little adjustments that can keep our spirits higher. How can you change the spaces in which you live to align with your yearnings and comfort?

Buddha snow globe. Dana Mitra is a faculty coach, career, coach, and leadership coach. She specializes in coaching academics, women leaders, and professionals making career changes. She coaches on purpose, balance and productivity. She is an experienced researcher and professor, with 20 years in the industry.

Slowing down, Listening Deeper

With most of our lives slowing down considerably with the pandemic, we may find ourselves settling into our bodies. Much like a snow globe finding calm as the swirling stop, we can see more clearly our lives in times of stillness. 

We can find “knowing” by listening within. This knowing comes from the gut or the heart—rarely from the head.  The whispers we might have been hearing for a long time about a needed change may be starting to feel louder now. Some of these whispers are YES choices—going back to school, seeking out new hobbies, building relationships. Other whispers may be NO choices—ending relationships, creating boundaries, quitting a job. I find YES choices much easier to embrace than NO choices; other people are just the opposite. 

Coaching is about helping people to hear this inner wisdom that is always speaking to us. To discern what a path can be, and to help to create scaffolding to get there. Sometimes we know the decision and need support to make it. Othe times we aren’t quite sure what the whispers are saying yet. The snow globe is still settling. 

It is possible to accelerate the process by listening more deeply to ourselves. Notice work, people, activities that charge you batteries and those that drain them. What makes your heart sing?  What work and people make you feel alive?

Even further, notice how you are showing up to do the work—how you are “being” and how that impacts the quality of your work. Also note how you are showing up impacts your interactions with colleagues.

I offer an exercise below for tapping into your inner knowing—a process I use to begin the retreats that I offer on strengthening inner wisdom. Research supports the value of leaning into feelings of joy, creativity and curiosity as a way to discern your path. The process for discernment below focuses more on being curious about how you feeling/being rather than what you are doing.  

  • Write down three words that define how you want to FEEL about your decision–whether it be your career, your relationship or something else. These words might include: inspired, joyful, fulfilled, authentic, powerful, serving a greater good, making a difference, impactful, groundbreaking, integrative. 
  • Sit with eyes closed and hold these being words in your body—focusing on your heart or your gut. Ask yourself—”What work can I do that most aligns with these ways of being?” This exercise can be used globally. It can also be used to work on a specific project.
  • Doing the exercise myself, I wrote: “Writing this blog, I want this work of mine to be authentic, inspired, and to serve the greater good. Before I begin writing every day, I remind myself of the purpose of my project and seek to channel this way of being as I do my work.”

Perhaps your snowglobe has calmed down such that you know exactly what your next step needs to be but you are afraid to take the leap. For others, you are feeling the unease associated with a change coming, but you are unclear how to proceed. Or perhaps a change has been forced upon you. I am always available for a free consultation to help to discern a pathway forward.

Take care of yourself, take care of one another, stay safe. Namaste.

Slow down. A blog by Dana Mitra. Dana Mitra is a faculty coach, career, coach, and leadership coach. She specializes in coaching academics, women leaders, and professionals making career changes. She coaches on purpose, balance and productivity.

Developing new routines in quarantine

Living in quarantine can lead to days that seem to stretch on for weeks–but with little opportunity to feel productive. Depending on the number of people in your home, it can create endless interruptions or long periods of silence. Adapting to new work protocols, switching to online work, and finding new ways to connect to others–they all take their toll.

Loneliness exists even when living with others—the lack of day to day connection with a broader world has been shown to reduce creativity, create brain fog. Isolation can mood swings, lack of focus, panic attacks, flashes of anger, flattened emotions, depression, loss of memory and declined cognitive function. We are wired for interaction–even introverts.

I find myself drifting through the mornings in our new reality, knowing that I have many projects that could be done but struggling to tackle any of them. The knowledge of many weeks of isolation ahead makes urgency fall aside.

We must acknowledge time and space for emotions and give ourselves the grace that our normal work habits are going to be compromised in extraordinary times. Yet as this time apart extends from days to weeks to potentially months, we find ourselves needing to find ways to create new rhythms to keep our businesses afloat. To make progress on deadlines. To create daily habits of work as a way to feel ourselves again and to tap into a sense of purpose that helps us to feel alive.

Keep a wide-angle view. The main goal for all of us is to stay afloat. Do not expect work to be an A+ effort.  Selectively choose what activities must be superior effort–due to external demands or work that aligns with our own internal compass. Give permission for the rest to be “good enough.”

Even in regular times, all parts of life cannot be embraced at 100 percent energy at the same time. We can have it all, but not all at once. Even when we have a clear vision for career progress, it is important to consider how to do so within the long-range view. Some activities are easier to accomplish in the early stages of a career, some in the middle, some at the end. By pulling back to a wide-angle view of our lifespan, we can help to make better choices about how to show up in the moment of any phase of life, and to be fully present within it, rather than lamenting on the goals that are best accomplished at other times. 

Make the most important daily goals about self care and connection. Trying times call for vigilance in self-care and helping others. I have faithfully used this checklist as an anchor to my new way of being as member of Quarantine 2020. I ask myself these questions, which I found on social media:

Quarantine 2020 oft quoted meme on social media

I have been leaning into a daily morning yoga practice, using an online exercise platform to push me forward. It feels like a delicious treat that in “normal” life would take up too much time. What chosen activity or habit might feel like a gift to you?

Create a weekly review plan.  Developing a framework for your week ahead can help to create some structure. Assess the week before it begins—Sunday evening or Monday morning are good times for a weekly review. 

“Your calendar will show what we value” is a useful metric for the task of prioritizing time when days blend together in quarantine. Begin with a broader sketch of the structure of your days. The blocks of time should be like categories—self-care (first!), plus meetings, independent work, and chores. 

It helps to sort like-minded tasks into groups. It gives a sense of a shape of a week and helps to clarify priorities.  Being aware that day to day tasks such as cooking and cleaning and caring for others might take much larger chunks of time than in a “normal time,” try to create a weekly schedule for our work time.  

During quarantine, activities during this weekly time might include:

  • Ask what tasks need to occur during quarantine and what can wait.
  • Think about how a weekly plan can incorporate time that aligns with what you value the most, whatever that may be.
  • Look back at the previous week, note what worked, and build off of those successes. 
  • Revise previously unrealistic timelines.
  • Develop a list of tasks for the next week that is less than might have accomplished during “normal” times, but long enough to see a path forward,

Observe the rhythms of your days. We have the time to be curious now. To pay attention to our habits and to try out new ways of being.  Log the time you want to value—exercise, writing, meaningful time with your loved ones. Review each week and notice how you spent your time compared to how you wanted to spend your time. Prioritizing time also means noticing how much time we are wasting on task that drain our batteries–social media scrolling, binging too much television, drinking that extra glass of wine.

Remember to grant yourself the grace to do less. The acceptance to feel the feelings and take care of yourself and others. The space to breathe and create ways of being that might endure beyond these strange times.

alues clustering. A blog by Dana Mitra. D Dana Mitra is a faculty coach, career, coach, and leadership coach. She specializes in coaching academics, women leaders, and professionals making career changes. She coaches on purpose, balance and productivity.

Know your values, know your path

Whether choosing a political candidate or a new career, a great way to discern your choice is to tap into your values. What are your core beliefs that structure your decisions?  

Think about what matters most to you in the world.  Values can be formed through experiences, influential people, family structures and culture, and even difficult times.  Common values that changemakers identify include: giving back, creativity, innovation, making a difference, order/control, and equity.

Getting greater clarity on these beliefs can create a scaffolding that weathers the ups and downs of a lifetime. It can keep you focused on a longer-term vision of purpose. Without knowing your values, it is more possible to slip into dismay, disenchantment, aimlessness, and cynicism.   

Identifying values is not just stating them but living them. The gap between your work and your vision should feel inspiring and energizing rather than depleting. 

Aligning with values also helps to dispel notions of perfection. Values can define a sense of inner standards rather than external judgment. When you feel judged or beaten down, ask yourself how those external judgments align or do not align with your inner values. This mindful work also allows a re-calibration of yourself that can keep critics at bay.

Values may change over time. They might even conflict with some of the expectations of your job, your family, your religion, your politics. Be true to what feels right in your core, not your head. Articulating values and seeing how they align and do not align with your big goals in your life can help you to discern when its time to take the leap and shift to something bigger, more true—how you really want to be.  

Resources for Living Your Values 

  1. You can help to distill your values by considering lists of words and debating which ones connect most with you. Here is a list to get you started.
  2. Ask everyone to tell you about your gifts. Feeling really brave? Post the question on social media—a request for others to list your gifts. Create a visual collage, like a word cloud, of the words shared with you. 
  3. Revisit a rewarding moment of success. Think back to a time when you felt fully alive —a moment in time when you felt a huge energy hit and felt like you were flowing in the stream of success. Use your senses to remember the details of where you were, how your body felt, what the light looked like, who was with you. Then consider—what values/beliefs/principles underlie the meaning of this experience for you? 
  4. Journal about your values: 
    • How do I define “meaning” in my life?    
    • What does it feel like when I live my values?    
    • How do I express my values in my work? my relationships?
    • What are signs that I am not living in my values?  
    • Who can champion me to help me to live my values? 
back of woman walking on planks in Ireland

Feeling Stuck? Seven Strategies to Get Back on Track

Everyone has gifts to share with the world. Living a fulfilled life includes finding pathways to share these gifts. Doing so brings meaning to our lives and intrinsic worthiness. Working on projects that align with a sense of purpose tends to be energizing rather than depleting. We tend to feel most energized and tapped into our lives when engaged in tasks that align with what sparks creativity and curiosity.

But what about when we are stuck? listless? uncertain? Then it’s time to reconnect with our values. Re-anchoring to core values creates a scaffolding that can weather the struggles of a career, a relationship, a passion. It helps us to keep focused on a longer-term vision. Without values it is more possible to slip into dismay, disenchantment, aimlessness, and cynicism.

Anna came to work with me because she could not finish her writing assignments for her job. She had deep writer’s block, which led to a negative performance review. She had a piece of writing rejected that she had labored over for months. The reason given was that they did not find her topic compelling to their readers. The rejection sent her into a tailspin. It led her to believe that her field doubted the value of her work.

Untangling the threads of her experience, Anna discerned that the piece aligned with deeply held core values. We talked through whether one set of editors could judge the value of her work that is so close to her purpose. We even considered–if most editors rejected her work, would she stop working on these issues?

Anna realized that she would want to persist despite the judgement of others. Future rejections would fuel her fire rather than extinguish it.  She redoubled her faith in her work going forward. She honed her purpose instead of shying away from it. She decided that part of her purpose was to push the dominant paradigm and to encourage her profession to embrace a broader understanding of viewpoints.

Honing her purpose helped Anna to understand why she did the work intrinsically. She could use this sense of purpose in the future as a rubric for discerning difficult career decisions. She had found the strength to engage in her work from within.

Deepening Purpose by Identifying Your Values

Identifying values is not just stating them, but living them. By paying attention to what is our passion in our work, we define a sense of inner standards rather than external judgment. This process helps to fend off the perfection demons. We seek to be our authentic selves rather than a generic standard that may not even fit what we believe. This mindful work allows a calibration of the importance of self-improvement with destructive inner critics. The gap between our work and our vision the can feel inspiring and rather than depleting.

SEVEN WAYS TO RECONNECT TO YOUR VALUES

  1. Revisit a rewarding moment of success. Think back to rewarding moments in your life—a particular moment in time you fully alive and were flowing in the stream of success. Drawing on your senses to bring you back to the exact moment—where you were, how your body felt, what the light looked like. By feeling the moment fully, you can distill the essence of what made that moment special. Sitting in those feelings—what values/beliefs/principles underlie the meaning of this experience for you? If you have a photograph of this moment, hang it up in a place you see every day.
  2. Choose from a list of values. Choose what defines you the most from a list of values. Try to narrow down to three, or even one as a guidepost for the next year. Create a way to visually remind yourself of these words daily.
  3. Reread performance reviews/critiques and highlight ONLY the positive words. We tend to only listen for the negative. Instead, take note of your strengths. Focus on the verbs especially–“ I inspire. I build bridges. I organize.”
  4. Ask everyone to list your gifts. Ask colleagues what is important about your work.Choose your most trusted peers. Ask them what they value about your work. An even braver strategy, post on social media a request for others to list your gifts Create a visual collage of the words shared with me and posted them in my closet where I get dressed every morning.
  5. Journal about your values, Research on finding your values suggests that you focus reflection on “what” questions instead of “why” questions. Some prompts to get you started:
  • What do I wish to accomplish?
  • How do I define “meaning” in your work?
  • What academic work inspires me and why? 
  • What does it feel like when I live my values? 
  • What drives me to do excellent work?
  • How do I want to show up as a scholar?
                Why did I choose a career in academia?
  • How do I express my values in my work?
  • What are signs that I am not living in my values?
  • What struggles do I have with my scholarship?
  • When do I experience conflicting values within my scholarship?      
  • What does support look like? Who can champion me to help me to live my values?

Ready for something bigger? Contact me about how to jump start your future. Schedule a no-hassle consultation at dana@danamitra.net