We all know the feeling. That knot of anxiety that tightens when you consider launching the new project, starting a difficult conversation, or putting yourself out there in a new career direction. It’s the fear of failure, and it stops more dreams than any actual setback ever could.
As the incredible Brené Brown has taught us through her research, any conversation about courage is inseparable from vulnerability, which naturally includes the possibility of failure. Most of us have built entire lives around avoiding that feeling. We think: What if this thing I’ve been building falls apart? My career? My relationship? This paralyzing fear makes us afraid to take the necessary risks for growth.
The Power of the Simple Question
I remember a conversation with my own coach that completely shifted my perspective:
My coach asked me once: “What would happen if this fell apart?”
“I would fall apart. It would be awful,” I responded.
“And then what?” she said.
That was the turning point. The fall is hard, yes, but we are designed to rise. We can move forward from almost any disaster. A conscious focus on the “and then what?” moment—rather than fixating on the fall itself—is the courage injection we all need to be brave.
Your 4-Step Action Plan to Map Out Fear
To truly conquer this fear, we have to pull it out of the shadows and look at it under a bright light. Combining the strategic thinking of Tim Ferriss (Fear Setting) with the resilience focus of Angela Duckworth (Grit), here are four steps to help you map out and neutralize your fear of failure:
- Define the Fear as Precisely as Possible: Don’t just say, “I’m afraid of failing.” Get specific. What is the worst possible outcome? (e.g., “I will lose $X and have to take a less-desirable job.”)
- What Steps Could Prevent the Failure? Now, be practical. List 2-3 specific, protective actions you can take right now to minimize the chances of that specific disaster. (e.g., “Set a hard budget limit of $X,” or “Get a second opinion from a mentor.”)
- What Might the Fall Feel Like? Acknowledge the emotional impact. It’s okay to admit it will be painful, embarrassing, or frustrating. Name the feelings so they don’t ambush you later.
- What Would the Moment After the Fall Look Like—The “And Then What?” Moment? This is the most crucial step. How would you pick yourself up? List the recovery steps. Are there potential advantages or upsides to this failure? (e.g., “I would learn a powerful lesson about budgeting,” or “I would finally realize this path wasn’t for me and have clarity to pursue something new.”)
What you will likely discover is this: What you fear is rarely as catastrophic as your mind expects. Your resilience is your superpower. Your ability to move on is far greater than your anxiety gives you credit for.
Don’t let the fear of a hypothetical ‘fall’ keep you grounded. Set your intention on the powerful ‘and then what’ and take the leap.
 Ready to Take the Next Step?
Would you like to brainstorm specific “and then what?” recovery plans for a project or risk you’re currently facing? I’d be happy to help you map it out.
Disillusionment seems to be growing as universities increasingly focus on building as many large undergraduate courses as possible with shrinking faculty voice and shared decision making.
Leaving the academy has become less tenuous as research positions are disappearing.
I work with these clients on broadening their sense of agency,.
Some revision how they approach their current position.
Some shift to new positions in their universities.
Some pick up a side hustle. Others leave academia altogether.
This exploration of new career lanes as well as reigniting a new sense of purpose is what we do in coaching. Reach out if you’d like to schedule time to learn more about how to find your way forward. dana@danamitra.net www.danamitra.net
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